Thursday, January 27, 2005

Nobody Fucks with the Jesus

That's right, it's time to grab your fucking lady friend and take her to, Lebowski Fest West in Los Angeles, March 25 and 26, 2005. What the hell is Lebowski Fest, man?

The Big Lebowski is an excellent Coen Brothers movie, starring Jeff Bridges as Jeff Lebowski, aka The Dude ("or uh, his Dudeness, or uh Duder, or uh El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing.") The soundtrack is as good as the movie, be sure to listen to the Gipsy Kings cover of Hotel California.

Lebowski Fest is a celebration of all things Lebowski, including "unlimited bowling, costume contest, trivia, farthest traveled, and bowling contests, prizes, and what-have-you". The 1st annual occurred in Fall of 2002 in Louisville, Kentucky. Other Lebowski Fests have occured in Las Vegas and NY. The Fourth Annual Lebowski Fest will again be held in KY in July 2005. Lebowski fans, or "Acheivers", are encouraged to drink white russians, sarsasparilla and oat soda.

Be sure to poke around the Lebowski Fest site for shots of Fest Fun, a FAQ that includes such tantalizing questions as "How can you hold an event that includes bowling on Shomar Shabbos?" Answer: Shabbos, Donnie, is the Jewish day of rest... We wouldn't dream of offending Walter in this manner so we arranged to start the event after sunset. Shabbos ends on Saturday at sunset. and "What about a name for someone who is not a Big Lebowski fan or just doesn't get it?" Answer: Fuckin' amateur., and Goodies such as bumper stickers that say "Careful, Man there's a beverage here!"

Jeff Bridges even designed the LFW tee shirt. For some mind blowing shit, go to the Stuff section of Jeff's webpage and click on Something To Do.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Helmet Burger

Derek Would Probably Agree With This...

It is a collection of Foxtrot cartoons. Pretty good strip, IMO.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

The Magic is in the Hole

"The man was halfway through the door when some customers hooked their arms through the doughnut hole and pulled."

That's right, someone tried to steal the big foam doughnut hanging on the wall at Voodoo Doughnut. You just can't beat customer loyalty when catching a thief.

"The thief tugged from the sidewalk outside. The customers wouldn't relent. One threw a cup of chocolate milk in the thief's face. Chunks of doughnut foam broke away and fell to the ground.

Eventually, the thief released the giant doughnut and ran.

Fryer Jay and a mob of customers sprinted after the thief, chasing him through a maze of Old Portland streets. The thief made a circular journey back to the doughnut shop and tried to blend into a crowd outside."

He was eventually apprehended and subdued with pepper spray. Ouch! Don't mess with the doughnut!

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen

I was listening to "The Bob and AJ Show" podcast on the way to work and they played a song called "Ikea" by Jonathan Coulton. I checked out his website and found a lot more downloadable music of his. It's fun stuff -- he's a good musician and his lyrics are funny. Reminds me of They Might Be Giants, though not as wacky. Here are links to a few of my favorite songs on his site:

Ikea: mp3 | lyrics [edited: fixed link]
First of May (note: not for the kiddies): mp3 | lyrics
Gambler's Prayer: mp3 | lyrics

Check out the rest of his music here.

Monday, January 17, 2005

What a friend we have in Jesus

From Samanthapettai, India - Christian Missionaries refuse to give aid to Tsunami ravaged village if they don't convert to Christianity:

"Most of the 200 people here are homeless or displaced , battling to rebuild lives and locating lost family members besides facing risks of epidemic,disease and trauma.

Jubilant at seeing the relief trucks loaded with food, clothes and the much-needed medicines the villagers, many of who have not had a square meal in days, were shocked when the nuns asked them to convert before distributing biscuits and water."

Man, just give these people food and water. God didn't create a Tsunami to teach people a lesson.

From this article "Tsunami relief efforts mingle with religion": "Muslim radicals are handing out Qurans with the bags of rice and sugar they distribute to tsunami victims. Christian aid groups have also rushed in, quietly promising salvation in this predominantly Islamic region but fearful their presence could spark sectarian violence."

"We also want to expose them to Christian values," he said. "It is so they can see the other side, that we're about the love of Christ. But this is not the place to carry a Bible."

But evangelists like Wisconsin native Mark Kosinski say it's impossible to separate relief activities from sharing the Gospel. He acknowledged he was warned to tone down his message but says he has "a job to do."

"These people need food but they also need Jesus," said Kosinski, who arrived this week from Malaysia. "God is trying to awaken people and help them realize that salvation is in Christ."

And - these same people want to put orphaned kids in a Christian orphanage, but the Muslim Indonesian government won't let them be adopted by anything other than Muslim families. Why do these kids have to be "saved" by any particular religion? Why can't they just help them for the sake of helping them?

This is just weird: "Downstairs four foreigners in Church of Scientology T-shirts, said to be Americans, were offering massage to refugees lounging on rattan mats. The church has set up an office in Banda Aceh."

Oh my god, and here it is, the reason the Tsunami happened - Indonesians are pedophiles.

"When the subject of God has been broached since this disaster, questions have been asked, such as “Why would a just God allow this?” Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps God didn’t “allow” this, but that he DID it? Which would bring up the next question—“Why?”

"Indonesia has absorbed more of the tsunami’s deaths than any other country. Is this merely a coincidence, or is there a tie-in to its moral standards, and one other interesting fact—Indonesia is the world’s most populous Muslim country, and host to dozens of radical Islamic groups. It is easy to see the fertile ground that radical Islam has in Indonesia, to present itself as the country’s moral savior. The “rationale” behind the 2002 radical Muslim nightclub bombings in Bali begins to come into clearer focus. Could the combination of wanton immorality, child exploitation, and the worst elements of the violently reactionary “religion of peace” have laid the groundwork for a loud divine statement to the world via the almost literally earth-shattering event?"

He goes on to say "And could a precursor be the unprecedented, pounding, deadly storms we’ve seen raging across America? Could it be that God is talking to us right now, and getting louder? Perhaps because we have not yet reached the depths of depravity of Indonesia, we haven’t yet earned our right to a huge earthquake and tsunami."

Ok mister "I know what God is doing" - what about the huge 9.0 earthquakes that happen in the Aleutian Islands? Who is God warning or punishing there? A small community of Inuit? Walruses? Spruce trees? Idiot.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

The 2nd Annual Edgefield Challenge

Our friends Tony, Rebecca and Jay came up to visit for New Years, and with the help of Rick and Kari, we held the 2nd annual Edgefield Challenge.

The Edgefield is a McMenamin's run Hotel and restaurant. There are several bars on the property, as well as a wine tasting facility. The goal of the Edgefield Challenge? Have one drink at every bar.

We warmed up by stopping at Amnesia Brewing and Tugboat Brewing in Portland.

We headed to the Edgefield and made our first stop the winery. The rules of the challenge are pretty straightforward - you must have one alcoholic drink at each location. While we only needed one taster of wine to stay competative, many of the challengers chose to have several tastes, and in some cases a whole glass of wine.

From there we wandered up the hill to the distillery, where we warmed up with some whiskey and warm cider drinks. The walk back down the hill, in the dark, was a bit more trecherous.

We had dinner at the Power Station, accompanied by a beer, and the usual terribly slow McMenamin's service (Wait 10 minutes. Waiter comes and takes your drink order. Wait another 10 minutes for the beer. Waiter then asks "have you had a chance to look at the menu yet?"). From there we hit Jerry's Bar, formerly the Ice House. On the inaugural Edgefield Challenge, we finished up at the Ice House, where we wrote our names and "Edgefield Challenge" and the date on a dollar bill and stuck it to the ceiling. Here we diverged on our drinks - some beer, some shots, some cocktails. We were running out of time, as the bars closed at 10pm. With a half hour to spare, we hurried to the Little Red Shed, where we partook in another drink. Alas, we didn't make it to the Black Rabbit in time before it closed. If we had paid attention, we would have done the Distillery and Power Station last, as they close at 1am. Oh well, next time.

Jay, Derek and I were the only ones to complete the challenge. We crowned Jay the winner, as he had more to drink at the winery, plus more powerful drinks overall. He was also voted Most Improved, as he was the Big Baby the first time we did the Challenge.

Photo Gallery

The gang, minus Dok.

Ahhh, such atmosphere at the Distillery.

Dok, lighting his face on fire in Jerry's Bar.

How you feel when you are done with the Challenge.

...or maybe you feel like this...

...or this.

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